The Confessions of a Christmas Seeker

The decorations have been featured prominently in stores for over a month. The pre-Christmas sales have come and gone. The shelves have been stocked to overflowing. Over these last few days before Christmas, these shelves have become almost empty. The very streets of not only the City I come from but the one I have come to, to celebrate Christmas with my family, have proclaimed the coming holiday with decorations on the lampposts, lights in the windows of houses and even over houses and decorations swinging above us as we drive along. 

I went searching amongst the clothes and toys and decorations but in the midst of them all something was missing. Wreaths have appeared on doors and lights of many colours have gleamed from windows, porches and shrubs along the streets of our cities. Nativity scenes made of glass, pottery, wood or brass sit in lounges and shop windows. Mock forests of cut evergreens grow up in car parks and other places. These have thinned and finally disappeared as Christmas day approached.

I searched among the wreaths and lights and nativity scenes and trees but in the midst of them all something was missing.

From early December there has been a long line of Christmas cards/emails seasoning the mail in our letterbox/inbox which may continue after today. At first there were only a few; but as the days passed more and more cards shared good wishes. Odd presents began to drift in and soon the trees was dressed with ornaments and some even had lights. 

I searched among the cards and gifts and thoughts of friends but in the midst of them all something was missing. 

Ah then came the parties. Dressed in the finest and most colorful clothes, wrapped in the latest fragrance, friends and family prepared to party. The tree has made the whole house smell good if it is a real one. The night is clear and the beautiful home in which the party is held radiates with the warmth of Christmas cheer. The food is good and the company is even better. 

This surely is what I have been searching for - what Christmas is really all about.

Often I'm among the last to go, leaving behind the stacks of holiday plates and the crumpled paper balls made from used napkins. I walk out into the dark of the night. Still I feel an empty place in my heart aching to be filled. As my hand touches the handle of the car door I hear something that seems to shatter the darkness like ice. It is the cry of a baby. 

Looking past the beautiful home in the side of the dark hills beyond, I see in my mind’s eye the faint light of a stable. 

I can see dimly the animals and a man and a woman bent over a manger looking into it as if it held the hope of the world. Around them stand what looks to be the people of the street – the homeless and hungry. Suddenly, it came to me. I had been to the wrong party. Had I misread the invitation? Had I come to the wrong address?  The party I had been seeking had taken place in that stable. Not a person I knew was there.

 Perhaps they were people I needed to know. I went home and slept well that night. 

I had found the Christmas I had been looking for so long. And my wish for all of us is that we may each find that Christmas child as we pass through the wilderness of our world. I searched among the animals and the poor gathered in a stable to celebrate the birth of the child and in the midst of them all, there was nothing missing. Our God was present with us and continues to be present with us in that scene. Because of this event, we as Christians don't need to go about telling tales about some doctrine of salvation. We can go about proclaiming Christ present, as a living person for each individual. Faith in Jesus Christ, it has been said is a participation in that event I had found. A participation in something which has happened and which is going to happen. In other words God, creator and redeemer in the form of Jesus came right into human life. If not then the gospels are fallacy. This is the central miracle of Christianity - the Incarnation, Emmanuel - God with us. 

As Christians we believe that by the grace of God these happenings are more significant than anything else. Yet we need to search them out to fill the emptiness in our hearts.